Traveling from Afar

I’d like to tell you about the fun I’ve been having lately.

My sisters and I have done a lot of traveling together. Lately, I just haven’t felt like traveling abroad. My husband and I have been spending a lot of time at our house on the Colorado River, which we always love, so Jan booked a 15-country adventure for herself.

Jan and I figured out that we can call each other on Messenger and have face to face calls for free anywhere in the world. This way, Jan can call me and turn her phone around and show me everything she is seeing in all these different countries. We have been doing it every day and she has shared all the sites with me.

Today she is in Amsterdam and I so look forward to seeing the homeland of our grandparents. I’ve watched her touch the remains of the Berlin Wall, cruise down the canals in Norway and Denmark. I strolled along with her down the waterfront in Poland, Lithuania and Finland. She shared St. Petersburg, Russia and Stockholm, Sweden.

Every call we share makes me wish I had actually gone with her. We are best friends and we are at least glad to see each other’s face every day and talk about the amazing places she’s seeing. I’m sure we will travel again in the future but for now I’m very content at home.

I thought I’d share some of the lessons I’ve learned while traveling with my sister.

  • Don’t ever just hold out your hand full of change and expect the shopkeeper to take only what is really necessary.

  • Don’t ever forget the name of your hotel. Bus drivers don’t enjoy the game of you just explaining that the hotel had a swan on the front of the building.

  • Don’t ever leave your mom unattended so that she might jump on the wrong bus and end up “who knows where” in Europe.

  • In Italy, don’t ever piss off a policeman. Enough said.

  • In Mexico, don’t hit men over the head with big paper flowers, even if you do perceive them as leering, dirty old men.

  • In London, don’t panic when they come to the door and say your luggage was not on the plane. It usually catches up with you in a day or two.

  • Don’t take bar glasses in your suitcase and expect customs not to notice.

  • Don’t steal gold crayons from Westminster Abbey after completing your brass-rubbing picture. It horrifies your sister when she sees it in your photo and souvenir album.

  • In Switzerland, don’t sit laughing hysterically as the hand-held shower nozzle falls off and the hose whips around violently and floods the room.

  • In Rome, don’t ever soak your hot, tired, achy feet in the bidet. Your sisters will never let you live it down.

  • In Venice, don’t ever sing louder than the gondolier. They take their jobs very seriously.

  • Don’t forget your surroundings. When the phone rings and you go to jump out of bed, only to plow your head into the wall, sisters find it very amusing.

  • Remember, alcohol hits you harder because of the altitude. Ordering a double Bloody Mary equals an eight- hour nap.

  • Time your sleeping pills carefully. Never take them 5 minutes before the captain announces, “We will be landing momentarily.”

  • In Switzerland, never and I do mean never, use a tweezer to pull out an adapter from a wall socket.

Once you get home, even though you enjoyed your adventure, remember there’s no place like home. And last but not least, be flexible. In traveling as well as in everyday life, unexpected things happen. Remember, it’s all about the journey.

Gail Earl is a member of the writing class offered through the Cerritos College Adult Education Program. It is held off-campus at the Norwalk Senior Center.

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