Short story: If I could turn back time

Cher said it best when she sang: “If I could turn back time, if I could find a way, I’d take back those words that have hurt you and you’d stay.” 

But if I could turn back time, would I want to take back any words that I’ve said to hurt my past love? No. And I said a lot of awful things to him that probably did hurt him but it sure felt good saying the things that I’ve said to him. 

I know that may sound cruel but I cannot change the things that I’ve said. In other words, you cannot unring the bell. And if I could honestly turn back time, would I want to change anything in my life? No. 

People often ask me: what would you change in your life if you had the chance? And some people actually wish that they could go back in time and change something they’ve said to someone or go back and do something differently. 

I simply wouldn’t want to and I don’t have any desire to change anything in my life. Everything that I’ve said, done, experienced, witnessed, sought, gave up on, not accomplished, regretted or anything I foolishly said or did in my life is what has made me who I am today. 

There was a time when I did want to go back in time and change certain things in my life but I realized wishing on these things just felt like a weight holding me down and I didn’t need that in my life. I just needed to move on with everything that particularly haunted me, saddened me, and weighed me down. 

For instance, my education; I cannot beat myself for not finishing school. Am I older now and attending adult school? Yes. But I struggled a lot when I was in school because of my upbringing and today I feel that I was meant to go back to school at this time in my life. 

Or would I want to go back in time and not divorce Robert? No. Would I want to go back in time and marry Mike? (Thinking about it…) No. Or would I want to go back in time and take back the harsh words that were said to my father? No. Why? Because they needed to be said to him. 

So many people wish that, if given the chance to go back in time, they would change something, do it differently or all over again. It's just a weight that holds you down and I say to you, or anyone, stop trying to change things in your life, be content with everything in it.

Yolanda “Yolie” Reyna is a member of the writing class offered through the Cerritos College Adult Education Program. It is held off-campus at the Norwalk Senior Center.